


Hiding in Closets

by waterbird13



Series: Tumblr Fics [241]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Coping, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mental Health Issues, ish, s11, supportive Cas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-11
Updated: 2016-10-11
Packaged: 2018-08-21 22:07:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8262073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waterbird13/pseuds/waterbird13
Summary: Sam's not coping that well.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is another piece from Tumblr, written for a then-hypothetical season 11.
> 
> Sam is clearly struggling, Cas is supportive.

Sam took the same kindergarten classes as everyone else. Well, more or less he did, when he was there. He knows how to name his emotions. Anger. Sadness. Joy. Rage. Grief. He knows the feelings and he knows the words.

He just doesn’t bother with them. They get in the way. Hell, Sam can’t remember a time in his life where they haven’t caused more trouble. So, he swallows them down and gets his ass to work.

Which works swimmingly for a little while. Sam keeps his feelings about the Darkness in check, about the Mark, about what happened. He keeps his anger and frustration and pure, unadulterated terror hidden under layers of work and more work.

It works just fine, like it always does.

Cas seems…more worried than he usually would be about Sam, Sam supposes is the only way to put it. But it’s not that hard to brush off, just like everything else right then.

It’s been weeks. It’s been weeks and Sam’s been doing okay, but today is simply hard. Dean doesn’t want to _talk_  about what happened and Sam’s been okay with that, it makes absolute sense to him to just move on, but today he’s spent a lot of time with Dean, and he can’t help it, the flinching every time Dean moves too suddenly. And it’s all too much suddenly.

He gets up and flees the room, barely aware of what his feet are doing, just knowing he needs to get _away, now now now_. 

He ends up in what amounts to an unused storage closet, curled up tiny in the corner. He’s made himself so small that he fits beneath the lowest shelf, but it’s for the best, really, because disappearing seems to be the best idea. He can’t be out there right now, can’t deal with it anymore–

The door opens. Sam doesn’t have to look over to know it’s Cas, because rooms feel different when Cas is in them, and Dean wouldn’t have come after him right then anyways. He looks, and sure enough, he’s right.

Cas moves quickly, crouching a foot or so away from Sam. “Are you alright?” he asks.

Sam nods. “Sure. Yeah. Be fine in a bit. Just…gimme five minutes.”

Cas frowns. “Sam, this isn’t okay.”

Sam jerks his head. “I know. I’ll get it back under control, I just need a minute…”

Cas shakes his head, interrupting Sam. “No, Sam. It’s not about getting it back under control. It’s not about controlling it. It’s about finding better ways to deal with these feelings.”

Sam doesn’t look up. “How would you recommend I do that, huh?” he asks, voice biting.

“By acknowledging they exist at all,” Cas points out. “And then coping.”

“How?” Sam asks, abrasive tone still present.

Cas moves slightly closer. “I’ve been told meditation helps humans calm themselves down. And talking about things helps them deal with their emotions.”

“Talking?” Sam asks skeptically, finally looking over.

Cas raises an eyebrow. “You don’t think it will help?”

It might, Sam thinks. He used to consider talking about how one feels important. Communication and consideration and reflection. It was a good way to start to deal with things. 

But Winchesters don’t do that. Plain and simple. Sam had always been the screw-up Winchester, but he hadn’t wanted to be anymore. Talking had gone first and foremost.

Then again, Winchesters don’t curl up in closests, either. And of the two, Sam knows full well which one he’d rather be doing.

He takes a deep breath. “Okay,” he says. “Lay it on me. “How’s this meditation stuff work?”


End file.
